The "Servant Leader" Within
内在的“仆人式领导者”
As humans, we have pride, emotions, ego, and superego - all of which influence every decision we make, from our thoughts to our actions. But who is really in charge of our decision-making process, and whose voice should we listen to?
My counselling teacher once told me to let them all speak, to have a meeting in my mind, where each participant has a voice, but in the end, I make the final decision and take full responsibility for it.
But then the question arises, who is this decision-maker? It's the inner servant leader, elected by all the participants in my mind. He's not just an honest person, but also a creative thinker, a skilled negotiator, an empathetic listener, and a supporter. He takes full responsibility and is accountable.
It's a team inside me, working towards my dreams. My teacher reminded me to always remember that each member of the team is looking out for my best interest, even if they have different opinions. Don't reject them, but also don't blindly follow them.
After graduating, I worked for a local design company owned by a famous designer. His presentations were more famous than his designs, full of comedy and visual effects. I was lucky enough to peek into one of his presentations through a small gap in the door. He confidently presented his design to clients while moving around the table. Suddenly, he blew up and yelled at some clients on the table. But within five seconds, he regained his composure and continued his presentation. After the meeting, an older colleague told me that he uses emotions to control the situation to achieve his goals. In other words, his sudden outburst was planned and controllable. Those five minutes of observation taught me a lot.
As an inner servant leader, he can also consult with team members and use their expertise to accomplish tasks, without losing control and yelling.
Our body is a complex biological machine, but there is no manual to teach us how to use it properly. We need to explore, learn, experiment, and persist day after day to understand even a tiny bit of it.
人类有面子、情绪、自我和高我，这些因素都会影响我们的每一个决定，包括思维和行为。同时，我们内心还存在一个对话者，那么，是谁来主导我们的决定？该听谁的建议呢？我的心理辅导老师曾告诉我，让每个因素都有发言的机会，开个大会，但最终决策权在我手中，我需要为我的决定承担全部责任。
但是问题又来了，我内心的决策者是谁呢？他是由所有参与者共同选举出来的“仆人式领导者”，他不仅是一个诚实的人，还是一个敢于创新的思想家，精通谈判、善解人意，但有时也会发脾气，却又默默支持，承担全部责任并接受问责。
这支团队在我内心中，为我的梦想而努力。老师告诉我要铭记在心！团队中的每个成员都是为了我的利益而工作，他们只是提供不同的意见和建议，无论言论有多么合理或荒诞。不要排斥他们，也不要过分依赖他们。
毕业后我曾在一家国外的本土设计公司工作，老板是一个著名的设计师，但更出名的是他的汇报，充满喜剧和视觉效果。当时我还只是一个低职位员工，但我有幸在一次会议中，通过一个没有关好的门缝偷看了他的汇报。他在桌子周围自信地向客户介绍他的设计成果。突然，他勃然大怒，指责桌上的某些客户，但不到五秒钟的时间，他又恢复了平静，继续汇报。会后，公司的老前辈告诉我，他常常运用情绪来控制场面，以达到他的目的。换句话说，他的情绪爆发是有预谋、可控的。那五分钟的偷窥让我受益匪浅。
作为一个内在的“仆人式领导者”，除了拥有决策权，他还可以与团队成员协商，利用他们的专业知识完成任务，而不是失控地大声咆哮或心跳加速。
我们的身体是一台复杂的生物机器，但没有一本说明书能教我们如何正确使用它。我们需要不断摸索、总结、试验和放弃，才能逐渐了解它的一切。
Love. David
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