Give It A Try: "LEARNING BACKWARD"! 尝试一下：“反向学习”！
时间管理的方法是了解人们如何偷取你的时间。
管理愤怒的方法是了解人们如何让你生气。
学习教练技巧的方法是了解人们如何滥用教练。
增加销售额的方法是了解人们如何降低销售额。
学习设计的方法是理解什么会破坏设计。
学习一门新语言的方法是发现什么障碍你学习该新语言的的原因。
增加自我意识的方法是认识到什么会遮蔽你的自我意识。
........等等。
知道某件事的秘密是知道什么阻止你了解那个秘密。"反向学习"可以打开你对某件事情的"鸟瞰角度"，扩大你了解整体局势的正反面，帮助你更好地掌控。就像当你问别人害怕什么的时候，一般的人都需要深思熟虑才能找到答案。为什么呢？
人们都想尽办法去避开自己的无能为力，不承认会有人能偷取你的时间，不面对那些破坏设计的人，不相信有人能激怒你，不意识到是你自己无意中减低了销售额...等等。
举个例子，人们怎样让你生气？
打击你的自尊
挑起你的痛处
怪责你的错误
冤枉你的人格
暴露你的脆弱
弱化你的优势
打压你所珍视的事物
藐视你的成就
误导你的意图
忽略你的存在
如果人们都用这样的方法来激怒你，为什么还要生气呢？结果是，你越生气，他们就越能躲进你的阴影里。
以下是书本中对管理愤怒的方法：
认识和了解触发因素
退一步
练习深呼吸和放松技巧
斩钉截铁地表达自己
找到健康的发泄方式
寻求支持
进行自我关怀
你认为哪一个更有效呢？欢迎留言告诉我。
The way to manage your time is to know how people steal your time.
The way to manage your anger is to know how people make you angry.
The way to learn coaching is to learn how people misuse coaching.
The way to increase your sales is to know how people reduce their sales.
The way to study design is to understand what disintegrates design.
The method of learning a new language lies in discovering the obstacles that hinder your learning of that language.
The way to increase your self-awareness is to realize what blinds your self-awareness.
........and so on.
The secret of knowing something is knowing what stops you from knowing that secret. "Learning backward" can open up a bird's-eye view of something, broaden your understanding of both the positives and negatives of a situation, and help you have better control. It's like when you ask someone what they are afraid of, most people need deep contemplation to find the answer. Why is that?
People try their best to avoid their own helplessness. They don't acknowledge that someone can steal their time, they don't confront those who sabotage their designs, they don't believe that someone can provoke their anger, they are unaware that they unintentionally reduce their sales, and so on.
For example, how do people make you angry?
Attacking your self-esteem
Touching on your sensitive spots
Blaming you unfairly
Defaming your character
Exposing your vulnerabilities
Undermining your strengths
Suppressing your loved ones
Disregarding your achievements
Misinterpreting your intentions
Ignoring your existence
If people use such methods to provoke you, why should you get angry? The more angry you get, the more they can hide in your shadow.
Here are some methods from books on managing anger:
Recognizing and understanding triggers
Taking a step back
Practicing deep breathing and relaxation techniques
Expressing yourself assertively
Finding healthy outlets for anger
Seeking support
Practicing self-care
Which one is more effective? Feel free to leave a comment and let me know.
Love.
腾讯公众号
David Tsui|徐敏聪
Business & Creativity Coach+Consultant
Ferryman
www.ferryman.pro
Coaching Brilliant Design Leaders That
Make A High Impact.
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