Explanation Is Just A Cover-Up
解释就是掩饰
当你试图回应对方的误解或怀疑时，90%以上的人都会立刻解释。无论你是销售员、设计师还是政客，都不要急于消除困惑。
想想你上次解释的情况是怎样的？你的客户开始摇头，你的伴侣开始反击，你的下属默不作声，你的老板更加怀疑。这意味着什么？无法得到认同。
20多年前，我参与心理咨询的演练时，导师在过程中递给我一面镜子，要求我观察自己当时的表情，感受自己的情绪。我看到了意想不到的愤怒。你知道吗？当你试图解释时，你的气场是“乞求”的。乞求什么？乞求被理解和原谅。解释是可以的，除非对方主动要求你对某些事情进行解释，比如对某个功能、概念或意义的不理解。
相反地，如果你百分之百确定对方误解了，你会表现得充满自信。泰然自若地说：“你误会了！”你甚至不一定需要解释。因为你的坚定已经表明了一切。
好了，下次当客户表达疑虑或误解时，你可以如何应对？我来给你演示一下。
客：我对你的设计手法不太认同。
你：（不要急于解释你的设计效果）我看到你对我的设计有些疑虑的地方？能多说一点吗？（以开放式问题作为结束，更能掌控对话）
客：是的，这里和那里不太搭配，上下也没有对齐……
你：如果我将这两个部分搭配并对齐，其他地方还有其他问题吗？
客：没有了。（客户的问题得到理解，也无需解释）
如果你真的认为客户误解了你的设计。好，再来一次。
客：我对你的设计手法不太认同。
你：我看到你对我的设计有些疑虑的地方？能多说一点吗？
客：是的，这里和那里不太搭配，上下也没有对齐……
你：（客户真的误解了你的设计）（深呼吸一下+停顿5秒）你能说一下我们的设计概念是什么吗？（以开放式问题作为结束，更能掌控对话）
客：记得……是《乱序》。
你：那你看到我们故意不搭配和不对齐的原因了吗？
客：嗯。
你：除了那两个意见以外，你还有其他地方有疑虑吗？
客：没有了。
每次当你要开始“解释”时，要先警觉起来，深呼吸一下，给自己留出时间来做出回应，也让你的客户感觉到你胸有成竹。将你观察到的反馈告诉对方，并以一个开放式问题作回应。
试一试吧。
When you try to address someone's misunderstanding or doubt about you, 90% of people tend to immediately offer an explanation. Whether you're a salesperson, designer, or politician, don't be quick to clarify the confusion.
Take a moment to reflect on your previous attempts at explaining. Did your clients shake their heads? Did your partner counterattack? Did your subordinates remain silent? Did your boss become more skeptical? What does this signify? It means they couldn't relate or agree with your explanation.
Over 20 years ago, during a psychological counseling practice, my mentor handed me a mirror while I was engaged in the session. He asked me to observe my own facial expression and feel the emotions I was experiencing in that moment. To my surprise, I saw anger in my reflection. Do you know why? When you attempt to explain, your energy becomes "pleading." Pleading for what? Pleading to be understood. Explanation is acceptable unless someone specifically requests an explanation from you regarding certain matters, such as the functionality, concept, or meaning of something.
On the contrary, when you are 100% certain that it's a misunderstanding on the other person's part, you display confidence. Calmly and confidently say, "You misunderstood!" You may not even need to explain further because your conviction has already conveyed everything.
Alright, so what can you do when a client expresses confusion or misunderstanding next time? Let's practice together.
Client: I don't quite agree with your design approach.
You: (Don't rush to explain your design choices.) I see that you have some concerns about my design. Could you elaborate a bit more? (End with an open-ended question to maintain control of the conversation.)
Client: Yes, this part doesn't seem to match with that, and the alignment is off...
You: If I were to align and match those two parts, are there any other issues you have with it?
Client: No. (The client's concerns have been understood, and there's no need for further explanation.)
If you genuinely believe that the client misunderstood your design, let's try again. Take two！
Client: I don't quite agree with your design approach.
You: I see that you have some concerns about my design. Could you elaborate a bit more?
Client: Yes, this part doesn't seem to match with that, and the alignment is off...
You: (The client indeed misunderstood your design.) (Take a deep breath + pause for 5 seconds) Could you tell me what our design concept was? (End with an open-ended question to maintain control of the conversation.)
Client: I remember... it's "Disorder."
You: So, do you see the reason behind intentionally not matching and aligning those two elements?
Client: Hmm.
You: Apart from those two points, do you have any other concerns about other areas?
Client: No.
Every time you're about to start "explaining," be aware and listen to the alarm bells within. Take a deep breath, give yourself time to respond, and make your clients feel that you are composed. Share your observations with them and respond using an open-ended question.
Give it a try.
Love.
腾讯公众号
David Tsui|徐敏聪
Business & Creativity Coach+Consultant
Ferryman
www.ferryman.pro
Coaching Brilliant Design Leaders That
Make A High Impact.
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